Autism ADHD and so much more.

Can we create a society that includes us all? I would like to try, but I can’t do it on my own.

I am looking for volunteers who would be willing to share their ways of feeling the world differently. Sensory experiences are often overlooked and misunderstood, even by ourselves. I have a short video invitation below and links to contact us.

I have met many people who are trying to understand the ways that people with neurologically different brains are experiencing the world. I have met with carers and parents, with teachers and medical professionals. I have also spoken to many people with neuro different ways of feeling and seeing and hearing the world. There are so many stereotypes, and so much of the language and its connotations are negative or pessimistic, the result being that lots of people believe what they are told. For me, much of what we are told is wrong. It is based on myths, misconceptions, and misunderstanding.

My brain is able to see things differently. I like to find ways to describe my autistic and ADHD way of being, that will allow others, with different brains, to understand in language that is approachable for them. I have been told that my words have helped to unlock some of the mysteries and enable the friends, families, and colleagues of neurodivergent people to recognise and identify their differences without having to refer to lists of deficits and impairments. But mine is just one voice. When all of our voice are heard and seen then we might finally be heard and seen and valued for who we really are. Different but equal; equal but different.

If you are already reading this, then I imagine that you care enough to want to learn more. When neuro difference is understood for what it really is, and for what it really isn’t, society might indeed become a place that is more friendly than we often find it to be right now.

Feeling and seeing the world as autistic and ADHD is like driving with one foot on the brake and the other on the accelerator. Autistic brain says let’s stay in and plan and prepare whilst my ADHD brain jumps into the driving seat and sets out without a map or a plan or knowing where we are going, or even why. It is a difficult combination if you don’t know that this is who you are. But now, I am learning to talk to them both and see if we can find a way that suits us all. And that is before dyspraxia jumps into the car. Or, in my case, falls into the car, twists the seatbelt and spills the water that had to be opened with my teeth.

But the most important thing is that we are all neurodiverse and we all share this planet so it might be nice if we all got to know each other a little bit more.

The marvellous Dr Damien Milton talks about the ‘double empathy problem’ which just means that actually it is a two-way thing. It is not that we lack empathy and understanding because we have a neuro difference. It is just that we don’t understand your ways of being in exactly the same way that you may not understand ours. At least we do try though. Because being in the minority means that we have no choice. It would be amazing if we could all learn about each other’s differences and create a society that is much more friendly to neuro differences that it often seems right now.

Why might it be that society doesn’t seem to understand enough about autism and ADHD and how can we change that?

(Please interchange autism for neurodivergent, or neuro different, or whatever way you like to refer to yourself. I think that we all belong under the same big umbrella, and I do wonder if often people associate with one label that feels more ‘acceptable’ or understood – I am not medically trained, so all theories are just my own.)

Do names and labels matter? Well, they can certainly have a negative effect can’t they? Sadly, while there are still stereotypes it is easy for people to jump to the same old conclusions and to presume to understand the way that someone else is. Neurodiversity refers to us all. We are all neurodiverse and we are all different. And that should really be something to celebrate.

Knowing that I am autistic, and ADHD has totally changed my life and now, after five years, I make sure that everyone knows that I feel and see and hear the world differently. I don’t want to be told that it is ok because no-one can tell. That is not ok for me. I am proud of who I am and how I think. I like being different and I like you for being different. In that we are surely all equal. Equal but different; different but equal.

So many groups of people who think, or feel, or behave differently, are readily accepted, understood, and even protected, but often this doesn’t seem to be the same for people who are given the labels attached to brains that divert from the majority neurotype. There are so many myths and misconceptions leading to a myriad of misunderstandings, that the truth about what autism really is, and really isn’t, is often hidden behind the stereotypes and stigma. The same is true for ADHD, ADD, OCD and all of the different neurological ways of processing.

I have worked with groups of parents, advised schools and implemented training within hospitality. Always groups of well-meaning people who are eager to implement policies to improve equality, inclusion and diversity. Which is marvellous of course. But, from whose perspective?

Currently I am researching sensory experiences of autism and ADHD, a topic that is often overlooked because when things seem unbelievable people find it easy not to believe it. What I am finding is that reports and articles and studies are completed but always from a neurotypical (NT), or predominant neurotype (PNT) point of view. They sort of look down on us like a doctor and report on us without including our voices. The motto of the neurodiversity movement is nothing about us without us and medical research should be no exception. In fact, the whole idea of a medical model is responsible for all of the labels of impairment and deficit that I want to dispel.

Why does recognising difference matter?

Well, the fact that you have chosen to read this has changed so much already. I feel that there are people out there willing to listen, and learn, and to embrace all of our wonderful differences. You might be reading this because you think that you are autistic, or you might be trying to help, support and understand someone else. Imagine what a difference you are going to make to the society of the future that you are creating. A world, where feeling the world differently is understood, accepted, valued, and included.

The role of a parent or carer is really the most important job in the world and those who have not received positive care can struggle for ever. This is so much harder when we don’t realise the needs of those we are caring for. I hold my hands up to this for both me and my family. What I thought was best was actually not at all. But I, like so many, had no framework, no benchmark. With people like you changing this, we can all look forward to a brighter, more inclusive, more understood, and accepting future.

My passion is that we reframe and rewrite everything that we think we understand about neurodiversity and neurodivergent ways of feeling the world. Actually, the worst thing of all for me is not someone not understanding, but that so many presume that they do. I have been told, of course, that I don’t look autistic, that I don’t have enough symptoms to be autistic, and that I need not worry because no-one would be able to tell. Again this comes from a kind place because people are afraid that labels like autism might upset and offend. But when our stories are heard I hope that we can get rid of diagnosis and its lists of deficits and say congratulations you are a person who feels the world differently. Different but equal.

(Material above is taken from a book I published containing a collection of my presentations which I made available for free on Kindle Unlimited. For paperback Amazon insist of a cost price. And so, for anyone who can’t access either of these, I am including some excerpts here in my blog and my podcasts and my YouTube channel).

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feeling-Differently-autistic-seeing-things

https://amzn.eu/d/c8RZLXN