When life is precarious, these are what I wish for.
I’m Tracy and I am trying to challenge and change the way that different ways of feeling the world are understood. I am fed up with the myths, the misconceptions and the misunderstanding that I encounter every day.
I have been creating short Instagram Reels to talk about some of the myths, and to try and show, rather than tell, what is is like living as autistic, ADHD, with Complex Post Traumatic Stress and Rejection Sensitivity.
Creating videos of myself on social media makes me very scared and uncomfortable. But I know that so many people cannot speak out for fear of rejections and prejudice. Many are afraid to disclose, or don’t yet even recognise their own difference. When I use the word different, I don’t mean that I am different from a standard, expected or accepted norm. I just mean that I know that the way I feel the world is different. To me difference is not a deviant thing. It is equal. We are all different and in that we are all equal.
Different but equal; equal but different.
I am 55 and can speak out because I have nothing to lose. If my words change the life chances of one little girl like I was, then it is worth the embarrassment of seeing my face on Instagram and YouTube. If one little girl, trying so hard to please and to fit in, can live a life where she is proud to fit out, knowing who she is and why, then it will be worth it.
The other thing about social media posts is that publishers expect writers to have a ‘social media presence’. It seems to make you viable in their eyes. To me this totally discriminates, given that most people who feel the world differently are far too scared to risk this but yet have the most amazing stories to tell. I am trying to change that with a project that is collecting stories to be published. When voices are heard from across the globe then the world will have to start listening.
To create change I work with companies helping them to be more friendly to difference. I have a separate Instagram account just for travel and assessing people and places to see if they are friendly. And if not, to try and help them improve their attitudes and environments. Obviously I am going to need some followers or likes. I believe they are what is needed.
I realised that the idea of consistency, security and trust runs through it all. When we feel the world differently be it through autism, or anxiety, or rejection sensitivity, or trauma, the one thing we need is a safe place to be. Safe people and safe environments that we can believe won’t let us down and where we can feel free to be ourselves.
Why should anyone else care, I am often asked. Well firstly because it is the nice, kind, human thing to do to our fellow citizens. But also because it can help the business to thrive. If we find people and places that we can trust and feel safe in, then we tend to be loyal. If we know that a place and its people are aware of differences, recognises those of us who feel the world differently, and are prepared to make small accommodations for our well being, we will want to be there.
But, as I told the lovely learning team from Four Seasons Asia, the consistency, security and trust must be present before, during and after. If I feel let down and uncomfortable then I want to run away. I feel hurt and rejected and nothing they can do would change my mind at that point.
Lots of us have been hurt and rejected all of our lives. We protect ourselves with an early warning system that tells us to get out of there. For me, if a place is dirty and loud and bright and busy and where nothing resembles what was advertised I don’t trust them. If that is accompanied by dismissive and devaluing attitudes to difference, then I know that I have to leave. Even if they try to offer me something different, if I am already scared or hurt or feel rejected, then it is too late. The consistence, security and trust have to be there waiting for me when I arrive.
If it is my voice alone, then I won’t change attitudes and environments. But with a global team who challenge and change places and people. Well, we might just start to live in a society that is prepared to include and welcome people who feel the world differently.
Autism ADHD and so much more. 
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