Autism ADHD and so much more.

Why is this needed for me to exist? Am I only valid if someone likes my story?

How can we tell the stories of ordinary people living extraordinary lives if we reject them based on the likes of others?

Do you have a story to share? I would like to find a way to hear the voices that are unheard, unseen and often hidden, far too afraid to disclose difference or disability. And it is no wonder if the first question asked is do you have a social media profile.

If anyone knows anything about me, then you will already know that I want to change the world. If me being here on this planet has any reason at all, then I would like it to be so that I can challenge and change attitudes and environments that are currently not very friendly to difference. And by difference, I mean those of us who feel and see and hear the world differently: those of us who live as Autistic and ADHD.

It is not just Autism and ADHD that affect the way someone experiences the world around them. Lots of other neurological differences co-exist. I also have Dyspraxia and Complex Post Traumatic Stress along with the Rejection Sensitivity that is inextricably part of ADHD. Some differences we are born with, and others we acquire throughout life. They can all change the way that we feel and see and hear the world. At least 20% of people have a neurological difference, and when trauma and depression are included, there is a chance that we might actually be the majority. At least, that is what lots of us who recognise difference think.

If you have met me before you will probably know that I keep asking why society doesn’t seem to be very friendly to Autism and what can be done to change and challenge that. For my Post Grad in Autism Studies, I researched this, and my essay with the title Can Society Ever Be Friendly To Autism is self-published on Amazon at cost price and free on Kindle. I want to change the world, not to make a profit for me.

So how do we change and challenge what people think they know about Autism and ADHD? When I started writing and presenting, I thought that this would be easy. Naively I believed that people would want to know; I believed that people would want to recognise myths, misconceptions, and misunderstanding. A wise friend wondered if it would ever be possible to make people care about things that they don’t care about. Things that don’t affect them.

I have posted a piece about my experiences of this with the Sunflower Lanyard at Heathrow Airport.

Hans Rosling, author of Factfullness, asks humans to admit being wrong with awe and wonder. And it is not so much what people don’t know that prevents change, it is what they think they do know without reflection or question.

How many of us have been told that we don’t look Autistic. How many of us have been told that everyone is a bit Autistic. And how many of us have been told not to worry because no-one can tell. All of these are delivered as statements that we are supposed to be grateful for. If we try to answer, then they take offence at the perceived criticism. Or so it seems to me. Even if I try to explain Autism as it is for me, people seem to listen but then go straight back to talking about their preconceived stereotypes. If I am not any of those things, then I am only a bit Autistic, they seem to decide. And of course, we are all on the spectrum a bit they will reassure me.

There are authors and academics and advocates who are all talking about Autism and neurodiversity. And lots of neurodiverse people listen and learn. But these people are often successful and in positions where they have nothing to lose or to fear if they openly disclose and discuss Autism and neurodiversity. Where are the voices of the people for whom life is difficult, and who do feel disordered and disabled living in a society that doesn’t understand them?

I decided to try and find the hidden voices. I wanted to tell the stories of people who are lost and alone, and who may even not yet recognise their own differences that are making their lives challenging.

I was excited to share all of the stories. A sort of translation guide to Autism from the inside out. But the only thing that seems to matter is whether of not I have a social media profile. Every publisher and every magazine ask the same question. Do you have a social media profile. And by that they mean do you have lots of followers and lots of likes. And if you don’t, well then you are not worthy of consideration for publication.

The fact that most Autistic and ADHD folk struggle with trauma, anxiety, and fear of rejection, means that they are very unlikely to be shouting for attention on social media. If the only stories that we hear are from people with the confidence and capability to garner an audience, then so many are left out and left behind. Left sitting on the fringes looking in and wondering if society will ever accept and understand them.

There are ordinary people living extraordinary lives whose stories might make a difference. They might illuminate and educate; they might offer hope and they might give others the confidence to admit who they really are and why. But if they haven’t made it big on social media – whatever that means – then I guess we don’t want to know.

If you have a story to share, or if you do want to know more about autism from the inside out, then please get in touch. My hope is that my next book might make a profit from which I can self-publish the stories of people who do not have a social media profile.

feelingtheworlddifferently.co.uk

Or you can find my YouTube channel